Mother’s Day often falls on May 13th – the day my mom passed away. It is also the day I met my husband. It is also the day I started to believe in the possibility that there is something bigger than myself.
Ellen and her Mom, 1965
My mother passed away when I was 25. It was a huge loss to say the least.
As the one year anniversary of her passing approached, I kept thinking, “What can I do to keep really busy on that day?” I knew I couldn’t run from it any longer. One night, I let it all out, sobbing alone in my bed, crying to her even though I didn’t really believe she could hear me.
Maybe if I met someone and got married — would that bring me joy?
Maybe if I had children — would that bring me joy?
I couldn’t imagine ever feeling happy again. Wiped out, I finally fell asleep.
The next day, someone I barely knew invited me to a dinner party on May 13th. I said yes. Then a stranger who happened to live in my apartment complex called to offer me a ride to the party.
That person was my future husband.
The first time we met? May 13th.
Did my mom hear me when I broke down that night?
Did she come up with plans for me on that dreaded day?
Did she find a way to introduce me to my husband as a sign that she heard me?
Maybe. Maybe not. But on that day, I opened to the possibility that there is something bigger than myself.
In the decades that I have known my husband, there were many times I looked to the sky, threw up my hands and said, “Thanks a lot, Mom!” I guess I forgot to add I wanted a marriage where we never fight. Ha, ha.
For me, Mother’s Day represents loss. It represents love. And it represents possibility.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mother’s out there!
Live. Laugh. Monk!
Do you believe in miracles?
Please share. I could discuss these things all day.