But How Does It Make You Feel?

I found that out after I already had the name The Suburban Monk for my business. I also had a backsplash painted for our kitchen 20 years ago from a picture of Greek ruins (so I thought), only to find out it was a monastery from the 1800’s. So, I have been living all these years with a monastery in my kitchen!

(I was also a princess in one life and my present husband was my bodyguard and loved me SO much! LOL)

I have an altar, I meditate, have mala beads and tons of rituals. I chant — 5 on Wednesdays and 4 on Thursdays and offer milk (whole milk, mind you — which I buy for this occasion) to a picture of a naga (snake) once a week. I can go on and on. I have also been running into New York twice a month to an energy worker who I adore but by the time I get home, it takes the whole day.

Recently, my head was spinning with all of the spiritual busy-ness and I needed to pull way back. I realized I was so busy “doing” these rituals that it was taking away from simply “being”.

Clearly my spiritual practice was getting out of hand. I was talking to a friend about my latest endeavor when he said, “Well, do you feel better?” Now that is a concept I hadn’t really pondered. I mean I think so…or do I? It’s hard to tell because life throws ups and downs at me all the time.

My son was home last week and we had such a nice walk and talk in…yup, you guessed it, Verona Park. We talked about wanting to trust in all these teachers because it made us feel safe but really it is giving away our power. Maybe a better way of saying it was not wanting to own our power.

When he said that, I felt a huge shift. Major ah ha’s were going off right and left!

Then I had tea with my husband and was sharing my newfound insights when he said, “You know, it probably isn’t whether you do these things or not, go to these people and have rituals but it is probably more the relationship you have to them. Do you think they are going to save you somehow or if you skip a day with all these rituals that something bad will happen to you?” Another major ah ha moment.

Somewhere along this journey, I crossed over from doing these things because I believed in them to feeling disempowered. They were fun and interesting and I will try anything once but as time went on, I was so busy “doing” that I had less time for “being”. And “being” is exactly where my creativity comes from and where I feel grounded and centered.

Next weekend I am taking a class on Reiki. I have a natural interest in energy and am looking forward to it. I’m just interested and I am not going to feel pressure that I must do any rituals given out. I will take what I like and leave the rest.

I will still drink my tea and green juice. I will meditate at my altar. You will rarely see me without my mala beads but not because I “need” them but because I love them. I still go to Kundalini but maybe twice a week is enough so I can build in time for other physical activity as I wear my new heart monitor, which I love. And if you think I am not going to have a reading from Raven every so often, forget it! But balance is key now.

As I rebuild my spiritual practice and various people become my new teachers, I will ask myself, “Why am I going to them? Maybe the more important question is, “Would I rather spend that time and money at Bloomingdale’s on that cute new Theory jacket coming out for the fall?” LOL. If I start with a new teacher, I will also make sure to check in with how I am feeling. If the answer is, “Not so great” or I get those little red flags, I will pay attention and trust my intuition.

I am not sorry for any of my previous teachers or rituals I have done. They were all part of my journey and each will be a chapter in my book one day. OMG, the stories I have!

I will say that the one constant in my life that always raises my vibration, makes me feel happier, positive and supported is Syd with his two thumbs up. Yup, that is the truth! He asks nothing of me, just smiles back with his encouragement. Never any judgement.

What I love about life is that I never stop growing!

Live. Laugh. Really, you haven’t seen that new Theory jacket?