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May was a big month. Our youngest son graduated from college and is figuring out his next steps. As my mind starts to go to worry (Will he find a job? Will he like it?), I look back on a few things that bring me comfort.

When our oldest son graduated from college, he also didn’t know what he wanted to do. He took a job, but it wasn’t his passion. He took a few more of those types of jobs. My husband and I watched from the sidelines for any chance to be supportive. Even though we sometimes wanted to jump in and take control, we learned to hold space for him to find his way.

Three years later at Thanksgiving, I overheard him telling his cousin he was going to apply to grad school. What!?! Within the year, he started his Doctorate Program and today, four years later, he is so clearly on his life path.  (Am I really that person using phrases like “life path” and “holding space”??? I think so!).

This may sound like bragging, but I am so proud to say that he has created a life that makes sense, feels good and is fun for him. My heart bursts with joy! How did he get to this point? It was at his own pace and on his own schedule. I can only imagine he felt lost at times. And maybe there was a bit of surrender. But it happened without my help. (As a Jewish Mother, I love to help. Oh, also with my sun in Virgo and moon in Cancer, I almost can’t help myself. But, I digress . . .)

Then I think about my own journey from Corporate to Syd. I felt so lost. I just prayed I would feel joy again. No one gave me suggestions. It all came from allowing myself to feel lost and taking some action even if that action didn’t look like the answer. There was also a dash of struggle in there and some dark days of surrender. But now, to say that I have such a deep, meaningful life is an understatement. Yes, as The Suburban Monk tagline says, I have created a life that makes sense, feel good and is so much fun to live.

Transitions can be so challenging. You know that place where the past is over but the future is not clear yet? That void is where the magic happens.

So, as our youngest starts his search to create a life that makes sense to him, I think back to the story of our oldest and then to my own story and remember he has his own higher power, his own unique life lessons and that this is a sacred time for him. For him to be happy, I need to stay out of it and just (OK, at one time I swore I would never talk like this!) “hold the space” for him.

Here is to holding space for each of us to create a life that makes sense, feels good and is so much fun to live!

How do you help someone you love go through a life transition?

Please share. I could discuss these things all day.

#GetMonked #LiveLaughMonk
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